Laurent

 

 


19 May

I have lost my ability to write something emotional for quite long time..

Normally when i started writing something like this..
Incried in the end.

So it's so unusual..
this time, i start crying since now..

First of all I want to apology

you are right..
I'm such a selfish girl.

Since I was young
I've just realised for not so long that i'm a spoiled girl.

and like i've said..
i'm one of those kind who always get what they want when they want.

......................................................................

Laurent..

a guy like you is so unique..
and it's maybe my fault to judge you with normal standard

with you..no standard was written

and you were right..I've never thought how you feel.

But on the other hand i don't think you care what i feel neither..

but now.. that doesn't matter anymore.

Now i understand you.. more than i could imagine
when i have a long deep breathe to take and think twice

I can say , for the first time, I do really see you

Now i see how you try so hard to make your life as the way you want
I see all the pressure around you

you are so tired, aren't you?

and i even said i want to be the one who help it better
but it seem to me all i have been doing is make things worse.

and I'm sorry..

..........................................................................................

It seems like our world is the same but also totally different

Since you are there trying to do your best in your career
i'm here trying to do mine.

i devote all my brain to my work, tho, my heart has been craving for you
while your heart together with your brain focus only on your company only

it's so clear.. our relationship has no chance.

I just couldn't see

Now I do.

..................................................................................

To be with a guy like you..

a girl has to devote their life totally.

and a girl like me just cannot do that.

I have my pride, my life and my stupid ego

I cannot wait for your attention
which seems to focus on something else most of the time

I'm so happy everytime you turned to me
but i also realised it wont happen for so long

so when u're away

I'm lost..
I have nothing to mentally hold

and i drive myself into someone i don't want to be

and it's tiring..both for you and me.

isn't it?

All i want is someone that i always can turn to..
he one who will be there for me everytime i need

I know, and I understand

You cannot do that

.................................................................................

maybe i asked too much from you.

while u've never asked nothing from me

so i conclude it myself

there's nothing you want from me

So, again, i'm sorry

walking back into your world.

...........................................................................................................

this strong feeling..i'm sorry if it make you uncomfortable

i promise you..from now on

I will just walk away

and i won't let myself so weak

and walk back into your world again.

........................................................................................

Deep down inside, i guess i always wished for your love..

but now, i surprised myself

Laurent.. I wish you love

.......................................................................

last of all

baby, life is short

it's good that work is your priority
but it's disaster when you let it be your only priority.

You have one life.. and you have every right to be happy

It's good you're happy working
but I also see how you're too stressed and unhappy.

put happiness as your goal of life..

then make work as the first priority

but don't forget that there are so many things

you should care..and enjoy them
since they bring happiness in your life also

or else you will end up as unhappy businessman
who upset by everything all the time.

and if you want your business can run by itself..

sometimes you have to let it go.

You can't be the only person in charge..
you will explode one day

make it as your business, not your boss

everyone should work for you
now it's like you are working for everyone

people need to build company
because no one canmake it alone.

you are wonderful'
But you're not the machine.

......................................................................................................

I do wish you the best

and I'm sorry i'm not that strong to wait and waste all my feeling for you

It doesn't mean I don't like you

since I do,

too much.

..............................................................................................

so many plans i dreamed of

so many...

now i cried for my lost..

Please forgive my foolish heart

-ploy-

.........................................................................

xoxoxo

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it seems like he does not love you that much...the story end like is good for yourself ...perhaps walking away is the best way to protect your dreamed heart from the guy like him ...I assume...stop looking and your true love might come ...stop acting like you do not care ...no bodody knows the truth but only you ...you are the one who knows what do you want in life, even somtimes you it looklike you do not know what are your truly seeking for...be yourself ...know yourself ...take care
ҹ   
Wed 19 May 2010 14:49 [2]

no matter what it gonna be happened ... some day you will realize that you are totally be a smart girl ^^
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Wed 19 May 2010 11:35 [1]